Frequently Asked Questions

Question : What is the Monsters favorite
Annual National Bike Event???

Answer : The Monster enjoys most events but does have a couple of favorites. According to the Monster, Sturgis South Dakota is the best destination, for those looking for great places to ride and explore. With Rushmore, Crazy Horse, the Pig Tails, Custer's Buffalos, and of course the wild activities of Sturgis Main St., the monster believes it is the best overall national Bike Rally. It does take a while to get there and is rather expensive for those in the east, but the Monster still says, "All real riders should experience Sturgis at least once. It's a killer rally and the rally that all 'want to be.'"

Question : What is the Monsters personal favorite overall rally?

Answer : The 12 year old Leesburg Bikefest in Leesburg Florida, in April, is one of the fastest growing and most impressive rallies anywhere. The Monster says that this rally is a throw-back to the days when host towns welcomed the biker crowd, and treated them as treasured guests who spend money. Leesburg has done a wonderful job building the event in a way where attendees do not feel like they are getting ripped off. The reason for this is, "they are not getting ripped off, at all", anywhere, in Leesburg. With free top name concerts, fair prices on rooms, food, and beverage, the average motorcycle rally attendee feels like they are being taken care of well, at every corner in Leesburg.

Last year when one of the Monster crew parked in the wrong lot ( drill team pavement) the city of Leesburg did, tow the treasured "Beater Chevy" down the street to another public lot, parked it and let us know where to find our mis-placed Chevrolet. The best part of this story is they didn't make us pay a fine or for the tow bill. Can't you see Daytona or Sturgis moving your car, for free, as a courtesy. Right....and if you believe that could happen, you probably think the beer price is going to be lowered too.

Question : Where did the Monster get those high heeled shoes?

Answer : The Motorcycle Monsters boots are stock H-D boots that have been taken to the Shoe Guru and had two inches of light weight "build Up stock" added to soles and heels for a 6'7 end result. The sole material is the same used to build up shoes for handicapped folks. The shoes cost about 125.00 and the soles are about 200.00 more to give that "Monster Stature".

Question : Has the Monster ever had any security problems or injuries?

Answer : The Monster was mobbed once at Biketoberfest on Main Street by anxious bikers. Nothing too aggressive happened other than needing a Police escort to lead the Monster out of the "pit of biker bodies" onto A1A and toward the Hilton on the beach. No harm done, but some anxious moments as some Monster fans grabbed and pulled the Monster and nearly pulled him down to the pavement.

On another occasion, a biker in Sarasota, Fl. who had had a few adult beverages, tried to install a hat or beer case box onto the Monster's head uninvited. Fortunately the juvenile biker/drunk got reprimanded by a few sober bikers friends. The Monster did a Clark Kent in a nearby alley, counted to ten, got a little new make-up, and a quick shot of his favorite beverage, (green tea) of course, and was on the move again doing his Monster thing, looking for biker fun.

In Sturgis 2008 another drunk lady came up from behind the Monster and did a "sucker punch" on the Monster from behind. She stunned the Yellow guy for a moment, but we are happy to announce the "big lug" takes a pretty good punch and shook it off before the high speed pursuit began. The Motorcycle Monster did play some football back in the day and can take a pretty good shot.

Question : Is there any biker event that the Monster will not attend?

Answer : The Monster usually doesn't do night time gigs where liquor is flowing. Typically, the security problems that the Monster has encountered have always been where folks who are drinking heavily. Usually you won't see the Monster in a Bar or club, especially at night. When folks begin drinking too much, the Monster sometimes becomes a target. "After dark" events with drinking always call for added security for the Monster. Typically at least one plain clothes security guard is nearby watching the back of the Monster. At concerts or club gigs, at least two security guards tag along. We don't want that pretty face to get banged up.

Question : Where did he get all those gadgets on the
Monster Shoulder Pads?

Answer : Most of the Monster gear came from his garage and collection of Motorcycle stuff that every riders accumulates over the years. Today, the Monster has several sets of those pads, pants, and shoes, and the parts are purchased from local shops and event vendors. Because the Monster is supersticious, these outfits are pretty much indentical. The largest problem is that parts of the costume gradually "walk off" from the monsters encounters. Most of the parts that "come up missing" are from the back of the costume, and vanish when some "loving fan" wants a piece of the Monster to take home. If you see any Monster parts on your friends rec. room wall, call the Monster toll free at 1 800-Kick-Ass, and you will receive a free personal appearance. He'll be the Yellow guy with fire in his eyes and the Louisville Slugger in his hand.

Question : Do they pay the Monster, and how much, to do this?

Answer : The Motorcycle Monster is a paid entertainer and does receive appearance fees for his dates. Depending on the number of days, distance traveled, work schedule, and duties, the fee is never exactly the same. Usually the Monster is hired to work a store, an event booth, or convention to bring customers in, greet them, shake a hand and have some biker fun. Sometimes the Monster is used as a MC, a bike show judge, a tattoo judge, or even to introduce other acts at concerts or shows. Recently the Monster along with other builders and personalities did a panel discussion where enthusiasts ask questions of the celebrities. Most of the attendees at motorcycle shows just want a photo opportunity and a few minutes to speak with the Monster. The Monster also offers free "baby sitting" for ladies between 18 and 88. If you ask him directly, the Monster will probably tell you that he gets paid "much more than I'm worth". Because of his popularity, the Monster was booked for over thirty dates this past year and shows no sign of slowing up.

Question : Isn't that make-up hot?

Answer : The Motorcycle Make-up is a little bit stuffy and somewhat uncomfortable when the Monster is in a hot situation. We do make many efforts to keep the Monster near a fan or an A-C outlet. The Monster also does his best to be inside when he can and does very short work shifts when he must be in the direct sun. The key is the Monster keeps the liquids flowing and does his best to stay out of the sun. The Monster is however a Florida resident and is somewhat accustomed to the heat. The 85 degree days in Ohio or Northern California are really a relief to the Monster who spends much of his time doing summer shows in Florida where the temperature is nearly 100 for 6 or 7 months.

Question : Is that Yellow paint, and is it dangerous?

Answer : The Yellow coloring is theatrical greasepaint. It is very similar to regular "clown paint" and exactly the same as the "Blue Man Group" wears. It is make-up that has been used in the entertainment industry for 50 years or more and is very common in show business. Most clowns use this type of make-up with a powder coating that sets the make-up and makes it less likely to smear or get onto others. The Monster "bright yellow" color comes from the fresh "grease look" and does not have powder. It is very easy to smear and should not be touched. A little more trouble but much more brilliant and striking to look at. The danger only comes when the Monster is on his Harley traveling at high speeds or when he's flirting with one of his hundreds of women.

Question : How long does it take to get the costume and make-up on?

Answer : It takes around an hour to completely dress and apply make-up to the Monster. It is a bit of a chore and the Monster needs help from one assistant to apply make-up and get the costume on. Simple tasks like tying your shoes, snapping the belt, and applying make-up touch-ups are a huge chore when you have the shoulder pads, cuffs, arm bands, and leg irons on.

Question : How long does it take to remove the costume and make-up?

Answer : It takes a little longer to remove the make-up and costume than it does to get dressed. The average time to get everything off and into civilian jeans and t-shirt is about 90 minutes. The hard part is make-up removal.

Question : Do you take off the make-up everyday and can you sleep in the make-up?

Answer : The Monster removes the make-up each and every day and sometimes two times a day. The thick grease paint makes it impossible to lay down or rest your head without making a huge mess. It is just easier to remove it than to clean up the mess that comes with a sleepy headed monster with make-up. On days where the Monster works day time shifts and again evening shifts, he routinely removes the make-up, takes a quick shower, lays down for 30 minutes and then starts the process again. The close-ness and lack of breathing, that comes with the make-up makes a short break without gear or paint very rewarding. The cool shower, a quick bowl of Cherrios and 30 minutes on the Monster bed renews the Monster to get at it again for another 4 hour shift. The make-up also becomes a bit contaminated with sweat and critters. Bugs love the yellow and usually swim around a bit before they die a slow death in the grease. After a few hours, the make-up also begins to look a little rough. The monster likes to look sharp and insists on new make-up and duds every few hours.

Question : Does the Monster wear the same costume every day?

Answer : The Monster has several complete costumes available for his use. These costumes are identical and make it possible for the Monster to wear fresh duds and be spring fresh each and every time out. He also has duplicates in case something is lost in transport. Even the boots, and shoulder pads have back-ups available for a clean fresh outfit and guarantee that the Monster will go on with the show even when the airlines loose a suitcase.

Question : Who designed the Motorcycle Monster costume?

Answer : The Monster built the outfit himself over a 5 week period doing trial and error in his shop with the aid of a drill, some wrenches, boxes of used Motorcycle parts and several bottles of Barcardi Rum. He made over 100 trips to the local hardware store and a few less to the package store, while getting the look just right.

Question : Does the turn signal light up?

Answer : Yes it is a functioning turn signal off of a Suzuki training bike currently in use at the MRA training school in Lakeland, Florida. It will light when the Monster hooks up a 12 volt battery, and it will flash when an attractive biker type girl approaches. The key to successful operation is what we like to call "A twelve volt and Monster Wood". Frankly, the added weight of a battery is just a little too much and is seldom used.

Question : How much does the costume weigh?

Answer : The total costume weighs somewhere around 70 pounds total. The shoulder pads and hardware weigh somewhere around 35 to 38 pounds. The pants, including chains and hardware around 11 pounds and the ammo belt around 17 pounds. Boots are around 8 pounds. Frankly, it's pretty heavy to carry for a 7 or 8 hour day. The Monster stays pretty fit doing this act.

Question : Does the Make-up wash off with sweat?

Answer : No, for some reason, sweat travels right through the make-up and drips off of the Monster without removing any of the color. The Monster beads up with persperation, and then drips off moisture without color run. The make-up does sometime bubble up a bit depending upon the heat and humidity.

Question : How do you remove the make-up?

Answer : Several methods have been used by the Motorcycle Monster to remove the make-up. The first good way was to use Ponds Cold Cream, like momma used to use to get off her make-up. With several coats of the cold cream and a few boxes of tissues, the grease will slowly come off. The problems is the tissues will make the skin raw and remove the top layer of skin and the Monster will wear a little thin on a several day gig. The best way is to use huggies baby wipes (natural with no alcohol). With a full box, you can get much of the yellow off. Then with a little shampoo and a 30 min shower with several wash cycles most of the yellow is gone. Another great way to remove it is with Albolene make-up remover. Good friend and biker celebrity Michele Smith offered this bit of show biz advice to the Monster at a show a few weeks back and Michele's advise has worked out great and saved the Monster lots of pain and agony. Thanks Michele. Of course, yellow make-up may show up most anytime with the Monster. This Yellow stuff is the gift that keeps on giving. Two weeks later the Monster will find some yellow in his ear that he missed. The other day one of his kids said, hey dad, your eyebrows are yellow. Oh well.

Question : Are children afraid of the Monster?

Answer : This is a bit of a mixed bag. Many children, probably 60% have no fear at all of the Monster. Many run for a "hug and a high five". However, some of the younger ones, maybe under 6 or 7 are terrified. With these, the Monster takes a few minutes to introduce himself and approach slowly, offering a sticker or photo as a peace offering. Sometimes an ungloved hand and a gentle handshake gives them reassurance. We really love the kids and try our best to make the encounter fun and pleasant for the youngsters. For many of the older ones, the Monster offers some good advice like, "do your homework, brush your teeth, or stay in school" to pass on a good message. Usually these fun "orders of encouragement" make the kids smile and the parents nod with approval. You are pretty safe telling a 12 year old to "clean up that bedroom". The folks get a laugh and the kids wonder how the Monster knew about that messy bedroom.

Question : Is the Mustach real?

Answer : Yes, the mustach is real and belongs to the man behind the Monster. Many times folks do not believe the yes, ask to pull on the fu man chu. Only attractive women are allow to give it a test pull. The stash is however covered with black make-up because the Monster is a little pre-maturely gray and the gray doesn't look as "biker badass" as the black. It is also the hardest element of the make-up to remove. It takes about 10 washes with ponds, baby wipes, albolene, and shampoo to get the stash back to the original color of gray. Sometimes the Monster dyes the stash black (just for men) for longer shows of a few days. Either way, the make-up, black and yellow is a lot of work to achieve that pretty yellow face.

Question : How tall are you?

Answer : The Monster is 6'4" and weighs around 260 in his socks but with the added help of his "high heels" and costume, the Monster comes in around 6'7" and 330lbs. He always says, "I'm really very small and I'm cheating to get to 6'7".