|
Too
Much Orange County Chopper...NOT
By
Dano
OK, will all of the Real Bikers / Wannabees /
Motorcyclists/Enthusiasts/Dreamers who have watched either American
Chopper (Orange County Choppers), Monster Garage (Jesse James), Motorcycle
Mania (1 or 2) or the Chopper Build Off (Billy Lane, Dave Perowitz, or
Indian Larry) please raise your right hand. Oh I forgot, I'm dealing with
bikers.... first, "lay down the paper"
Ok, you know who you
are, and whether or not you would like to admit it, most of you are
probably like me and watch the same old Paul and Paulie arguments over and
over. You know the ones where Paul loses it over too many coffee cups on
the workbench. In fact, I have the dialog memorized for many of the Orange
County episodes. Wow! This must be world class TV. The numbers are
soaring, the t-shirts are selling at every outlet in the free world and
Paul, Jesse, and Mikey are the hottest thing since the hoola-hoop. Right?
Now hold on Evo
breath... Well, sort of...yes, and sort of... no. Yes, the t-shirts are
selling, the Monster Garage die-casts are in Wal-Mart, Sam’s Club is
selling Jesse Tools, and Paul and Paulie are being whisked around the
country on private jets and hanging with the likes of Jay Leno. But no, I
personally don't believe it's because of the wonderful production value of
these reality shows or the extreme talent of any of our brash biker
roughnecks. I believe that the huge success that the Discovery motorcycle
shows are now enjoying is a tribute to the ever growing motorcycle
community and the hunger for motorcycle programming. That's right, "
Mr. Fabricating-in-your-garage", the hype is for motorcycles (cruiser
motorcycles), not the wonderful acting of Jesse or Paul Sr. You say,
“They aren't acting.” Well, if you believe that, then you believe that
the Rock is the World Champion and toughest guy in the world, or is it
Triple H today? Is it scripted? Maybe not word for word but neither does
Vince McMahon give them a "word for word". Think about it. Would
a guy like Paul Teutul loose his cool every week on TV and make a fool of
himself, without some story line in place? Is it true that every bike they
build is always behind schedule and they somehow come together at the last
minute? I don't think so. If you do, you probably have been sniffin’ too
much carb cleaner. I think the directors and producers like the "Paul
looses his cool" story line, "Paulie walks out", "Vinnie
shakes his head" and then at the last minute the "conquering
heroes" arrive at the event with the coolest bike ever, complete with
smoke and pyros. Paul says Paulie "really pulled it off", Paulie
forgives his father, the sponsors are pleased, the $150,000 goes into the
bank, and the motorhome heads back to Rock Tavern to begin again. And one
more thing... you don't really believe the Teutuls still ride in the
motorhome to the shows? And oh, by the way, the sponsors signs get bigger,
the new welders and tool boxes roll in, the shop grows, a new trailer, and
everyone gets what they want, "air time for their products".
Would Snap-On really give $150,000 for a 7-day bike if they didn't get the
air time as well? Don't believe it for a minute.
Are we being
hood-winked? You bet! just like when I watch Hogan come off the top rope
to again become the WWE world champion, again. You see, it really doesn't
matter if it's true. The point is we are entertained. We get to hang out
with motorcycle guys, say the F-word, go to motorcycle events, and look at
beautiful motorcycles, all from the comfort of our living rooms with no
travel, no expense, no rain, and most importantly, no motorcycle. That's
right, we can live the life without even owning a motorcycle. Have you
ever wondered if all of those people wearing West Coast Choppers shirts
really own a motorcycle? I know for a fact the Motor Company sells more
t-shirts than bikes. I bet Jesse does too.
Are Jesse, Paul ,
Paulie, and Vinnie "that great" at what they do? Well, that one
is also debatable. Many old school bike builders say that the Orange
County group are not really builders but only assemblers doing a small
amount of fabricating to give these "kit bikes" some personal
touches. The rumor is that Vinnie never rode or built a bike till he first
appeared on American Chopper. This same group of old bikers gives more
"props" to Jesse because he fabricates tanks, frames and fenders
from scratch. It's no doubt that the wheel guys (Rowe Machine) and the
painter kid "Justin" and the guys who build the frames in
Oklahoma City are all true artists and the finished products reflect their
commitment to quality.
A few years back at
Daytona's famous Rat’s Hole Show, the Teutuls placed fifth. That alone
is not bad because some of the top motorcycle artists in the world
frequent this show, but the real motorcycle community doesn't really
expect the likes of James or Paulie to be a factor at these world class
shows. Personally, I believe these shows are all a little political and
the Teutuls probably would have been down the list much further without a
TV show.
The purist questions
surface when these new guys like James or the Teutuls are compared to the
old timers like Arlen Ness, Dave Perowitz, or Ron Simms. Most agree that
all of these guys have both more experience and build better quality
machines than James or the Teutuls but the real question is, how would
they play on TV? I have personally talked with all of these master
builders and all are very talented guys with hundreds of bikes under their
belts. Arlen Ness is a bit of a quiet guy and I can't ever imagine him
yelling at anyone, especially his son Cory. Perowitz is also a civilized
guy who quietly builds and paints some of the most outrageous bikes on the
planet. The key here is "quietly". Ron Simms has sold so many
bikes for so many years; I can't imagine him having the time to yell at
anyone. He's too busy doing business. Whatever the point of view, one
thing for sure is that both Jesse and the Teutuls are "Red Hot".
Jesse's Motorcycle Mania gave the Discovery Channel the biggest numbers
ever until the spin-offs came. It seems that as the new shows roll out,
the popularity seems to increase.
Another question
bouncing around the Motorcycle World is, has Paul Teutul gone Hollywood?
Paul Teutul, who only a couple of years ago sat and talked with me for a
couple of hours about building bikes and the confusion of how many people
think Orange County Choppers is in California now seems to have acquired
some "Rock Star status". Today, security guards, limited access
at Orange County facilities, publicists, and ropes to hold back the fans,
have put off more than one old time biker who thinks maybe all this
attention has led Paul Sr. to forget where he came from. Recently a group
of Blue Knights grumbled because they rode 80 miles to Orange County only
to be disappointed that Paul would not come out and take a photo with
them. Before the hype, Paul was a successful businessman who spent much of
his life working hard as a welder and fabricator. His first bike, built
only about four years ago in his basement, seemed to get Paul on the fast
track when the Discovery producers found an outrageous character while
searching for another Biker Guy to go after the market that Motorcycle
Mania 1 and 2 had tapped.
Personally, I'm really
pissed that I don't get to go to bike events in a big motorhome and sell
$7 T-Shirts for $25. Paul Teutul is really lucky that the Discovery
Channel didn't see my garage full of motorcycles or hear one of my
screaming fits or he would still be building fence under his welding hood
in No-Wheresville, New York. I'd be glad to let the Blue Knights in for a
photo op with the grumpiest biker around. They could even come for dinner.
Paulie could leave as many coffee cups on the bench as he wants if I get
to meet Jay Leno.
We visited the OCC
shop in New York a few years ago and both Paulie and Mikey were absolutely
warm and accessible to both myself and my wife while Paul was less than
available for fans looking for photos and handshakes. One thing for sure
is both Paulie and Mikey are better suited for the PR thing as Paul Sr.
seemed a little out of place at the Waldorf Astoria doing a benefit
auction. As for Jesse, my opinion is that he has always been a smart-ass
even before his huge success. I talked with him long before his TV debut
and he was just as goofy then as he is on TV. Is he talented? Absolutely.
He's a real guy who can weld, fabricate, design, and most of all, promote.
But with all of this success, friends close to Jesse say he really wants
to spend more time building bikes and isn't really that excited about the
"Monster Garage" gig. He confides that the money and fame are
great but he really misses bike building.
I predict that we will
see more motorcycle programming as producers are scurrying around putting
together more "gear head" programming for the cable channels.
Speed Channel has made an attempt to address the need for more motorcycle
programming but I believe they have put too much emphasis on motorcycle
racing. While the sport bike market is growing at a huge rate,
"cruiser boomers" are the Jesse/ Orange County crowd. These
50/60 year old folks have the dollars that drive the marketing bus and are
not much interested in the Superbike races. I believe the Speed
Channel’s recent programming changes cutting back on motorcycle racing
reflects these attitudes.
The bottom line for me
is that all of this excitement is evidence that the motorcycle community
is alive and well and that enthusiasts are truly looking for more
motorcycle programming. I admit, that many times I will watch an American
Chopper episode for the third or fourth time rather than watching the
latest news or Larry King. I'm guilty and I'm hooked on motorcycling.
Whether it's Paul complaining about the coffee cups or the Undertaker
riding in on a Titan, I'm there. Whether it's real or scripted or sometime
just plain stupid. I'm a motorcycle guy and I can't escape it. I must
admit one more thing; I bought some of the tapes of old American Chopper
episodes. I must be sick.
|
|