Please Go Away Orange County Chopper

Senior Vs. Junior: American Chopper Wars continue; Lawsuits, Lawyers and the 3 Stooges.

Let's Review.

Blue collar father (Paul Sr.) and son ( Paul Jr.) start small bike building business (Orange County Chopper) in basement in Nowheresville N. Y. They find a reality show producer looking for a father and son dynamic for a "let's get on motorcycle building bandwagon" reality series. Son designs killer bikes. Father bitches about coffee cups on the workbench. We add in a touch of "doing the right thing" for military bikes and victims of 911 bikes and we have all of the components for success. Good vs. evil, family turmoil, abuse, rags to riches, celebrities, patriotism, and healing. Wow, seems like a "Hulk Hogan" match on WWE.

Comic relief son "Mikey" is brought on to give a "three stooges" element. Moe ( Paul Sr.) smacks around Larry (Paulie) for being an idiot. Meanwhile Curlie ( Mikey ) makes everyone smile including Moe as the Tees begin selling in every Walmart east and west of Bentonville.

Then we add in that Dad has a history of alcohol and substance abuse, Paulie is born again, and Mikey has his own self esteem issues due to mistreatment from Evil Dad.

Ex-wife and Mom does cameo to show how Paul missed the boat with his mistreatment of a wonderful lady and mom. Granny smiles with pride and hugs everybody.

Ratings are huge for American Chopper, as father and brothers begin destroying cars, trailers, and golf carts as America watches "Trailer Trash" make good. More tees sales mean more big buck houses, as couches fly through windows and our Jerry Springer mentality is fed with more dysfunctional behavior and money is no object. This modern day Clampit like family enjoy the spoils of "hitting it rich" in their own geyser of money, power and stupidity.

In a WWE like weekly soap opera, sons hate dad, sons love dad, grandma enjoys celebrity status, dad gets young hot wife, and everyone goes crazy with a little fame and lots of money.

When things get a little stale, we add more drama as one of the main characters leave, (Vinne) with (Cody) to follow as more conflict builds for "good sons" Mikey and Paulie. Boys are destroyed as Moe's evil ways have caused "best bud" Vinnie to leave. More conflict for the Larry and Curlie characters as "Good vs. Evil" make it more difficult for them to continue with "Evil Paul".

As pressure mounts and ratings falter, Paulie begins to stand up to evil father. Son quits, son reconciles, both tear up, father "loses it" yet one more time, and thankfully ultimate father and son "break up" rally ratings a bit as tired soap opera fades.

But Wait, ultimate break up, law suites, new players, and a new twist. Can we squeeze yet another season or two from this tired old dying soap opera? It's 2010 and "Yes We Can". Law suite between father and son, is lead story for first episode. Unfairly treated and under paid Vinnie is brought back and Clampits continue to cash more checks with new Tees celebrating Vinnies return and liberation from evil Paul. New line of super hero shirts with Paul Jrs. Design. New story line, new wife, and new tees to choose from just may give this dying cat yet one more life.

And, if we time the Paulie wedding, just right, we'll get more TMZ time and add in the drama of Sr. not showing, Paulie saying he still loves dad, and we'll have yet another reason to get the Senior vs. Junior "Blog World" wound up for yet another blast of "free advertising" and maybe just maybe a few more millions.

Ok, Uncle, enough already, we have had it. If I have to watch one more episode of Sr and Jr. wining about their millions, I just may have to give up motorcycles altogether. I also may give up T V completely. You have had a good run. I'm sure you have made enough money to live out your years. You've had your fame, now move on.

In case you haven't noticed, not so many care any more, you are a joke in the motorcycle community, and your normal family members have distanced themselves. Mikey is a drunk and an embarrassment, Paul Sr. is the poster child for dysfunctional, and Paulie continues to whine about the his artistic bike building ability that frankly has never been very impressive to the real motorcycle building community.

I'll give you credit, you made millions. You are all pro at selling tee shirts. Congratulations, are in order and I'm jealous.

Now, it's getting a little creepy for us normal biker folks. "Please, go away".